To say that the last two weeks have been stressful would be an understatement. In all reality the last two months have really been hell on wheels. But who’s keeping track? I would love to say that I am blissfully happy and that I have lost 10 pounds and all is right with the world but I can’t. I truly feel that if I am going to blog I must only blog the truth. That being said, I am trying my hardest to have a positive outlook on things and know that this time and these situations will not last forever and that there are brighter days ahead. I truly feel as though we go through seasons in our lives. Seasons where we change, view or act differently. I feel as though I am in the hermit mode. Not that I don’t want to leave my house or anything, but that I only feel the need to be with or talk to my family, go to work and get that done and go home. I obviously have added the gym to my routine but I go there and really don’t talk to anyone and am just in my world. I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I just feel like sometimes I am pulled in a million different directions. Everyone wants something or needs something and right now I don’t feel like I have it to give. This is in many aspects of my life right now from work, to ministry, to friends. I just feel overwhelmed. So the only way that I can make things ok for myself is to just be. I don’t have extra for anyone. Does this sound selfish? It isn’t intended to be that. It just is where I am. I just feel the need for anonymity. That sounds a little contradictory seeing as how I am blogging right now, but really, I’m sitting at a computer in my own zone. So really I could say just about anything. And the thing about it is that while you are reading it you can judge it anyway you want and most likely you will not comment and you can think what you want and I will be none the wiser. Kinda how I like it right now. Yikes! Don’t get me wrong there have been beautiful times over the last few months. We had a great Easter! I had been praying especially hard about the Easter service and that the words would be just right. And quiet honestly it was perfect. I think God had us in that place on that Sunday for a reason. It was truly a blessing to be there. The music was AMAZING and I even caught Sam singing along with the worship songs. That made me smile! My parents have found this amazing church in San Dimas and I am so happy that they have found it. I look forward to going as many times as possible. Christs Church of the Valley, so glad they found it! We also had a fun time recently out at Glamis. Buddy had a great time playing with new friends and we took his motorcycle out there as well. Although I have to say I’m pretty sure that he could make friends with anyone. I’ve decided that today is what you make it. I plan on making it great. I have a day full of meetings and then I’ll be headed to the gym. I do have this secret that I am not ready to share yet. I think in the end it is going to be something that makes me extremely happy. I hope that those people who do read this will know that right now and this season…its nothing personal its just where I am.
1 comments
I totally understand how you are feeling (or at least am attempting to understand by applying what you are saying to how I've felt). You just need time to be you, figure out you, and relish in that time. No time to stretch yourself in a million directions. :)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about your surprise! :) Great job on going to the gym and getting you the way you want! :)